Would You Split the Cost of an Engagement Ring?


split an engagement ringThis post originally appeared on POPSUGAR Smart Living.

It seems that more partners are sharing the cost of engagement bling, according to the Daily Mail. A survey on the Facebook page of The Knot revealed many commenters confessing that they split the cost of the rings, and some women even paid for the rings on their own. A commenter says, “Whatever works best for the couple. I personally bought my engagement ring wedding band and have no shame of it! We picked out my engagement and wedding rings together and [I] think that makes it special for us.”

Of course, there are also many traditional dissenters who find the idea distasteful. One commenter retorts, “No way! That’s so tacky. If he can’t afford an engagement ring, then he probably shouldn’t be proposing.”

With cohabitation before marriage being the new normal, couples are becoming more transparent with each other about finances. And that usually means discussing big financial decisions. Given the high cost of an engagement ring, it makes sense for some to broach the topic.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly seen a lot of wedding traditions being broken just because people think they’re outdated or not worth the expense. What’s your take — is sharing the cost of an engagement ring a smart or surprising move?

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  • tiredofthebs2005

    my now husband gave me a choice $50,000 for a wedding and rings or modest diamond bands with wedding band and $45,000 on a house..I picked the house that was 8 yrs ago and still here

  • LeahPeterson

    That’s ridiculous. The engagement ring is supposed to be a gift, and if you buy it yourself then how is the proposal a surprise??? Split the cost of the wedding rings for sure but engagement ring is definitely a no.

  • Anne-Marie Ross

    People are ridiculous about these points. My parents bought one at an estate sale. It was like 300 bucks. Sure, that was plenty of money then but nothing flushing 8, 10, 12 grand down the toilet.

    • nkdeck07

      Agreed, we bought my ring from a little local jeweler for $400 and I love it. I couldn’t imagine spending the amounts people do for something shiny.

  • Jennifer

    I have been saying that I would split the cost of my engagement ring for years (even when I was single). I don’t see what the big deal is, we are both getting rings. What difference does it make if we plan to combine our finances in the future, it’s all coming from the same pot. Breaking this tradition is the same as non-virgins wearing white. This “gift” tradition is dated and needs to come into this century, a majority of women are getting married later and have careers that afford them more disposable income than generations past had (when women didn’t work outside the home).

  • Sarah

    No, the engagement ring is a gift. Although, if my husband was going into debt to buy a ring, I wouldn’t want an engagement ring. Also, if I bought a diamond ring myself, I wouldn’t call it my engagement ring.

  • Orsira

    I bought my own ring because I wanted to have the ‘perfect ring’ which was above his budget. The gift from him is a happy life together with enough money to get by, not a giant debt you will both have to bear in some way.

  • Coco

    I told my fiance before he proposed that I wanted a ring with intricate metalwork (Art Deco style) versus a diamond or expensive stone. He had one custom made with a lovely setting, and with my birthstone. I think it is beautiful and unique. I think there is a lot of pressure to have an expensive ring, but I would rather invest that in trips or towards a house.

  • http://sjmarathon2012.tumblr.com/ WhitneyF

    If you’re already co-habitating and are planning on getting married, most of your financial resources are already pooled together (or will be after you get married), so I don’t think it’s that ridiculous for the couple to make the decision about purchasing a ring together. Even if you’re NOT living together, would you really want your future husband to buy a ring he can’t afford thus saddling you with debt as newly weds? Or even if he could afford it, would you really be okay accepting a ring knowing that maybe the two of you really needed that money for something else? Unless he is planning on giving you a family heirloom, I think this is a decision to be made together.