Don’t Be Too “Nice” at Work

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Check out this Savvy Sugar article on why it’s sometimes good to stop being so nice. 

Being the “nice girl” at work has its perks—everyone gravitates toward you because you’re always trying to please other people.

However, in terms of getting what you want in your career and having your career progress at the rate you want it to, being too “nice” might hinder you. Lois Frankel, author of Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It advises to, “Get outside your comfort zone and be willing to deal with other people’s discomfort, because if you spend your life making other people comfortable, you may feel good, but you’re not going to get what you really want.”

Don't Be Too Nice At Work

To get ahead at work, you need to be more assertive, but you don’t have to be too aggressive about it—there are ways to do it in a positive manner. Here are some tips Frankel has for women to drop the “nice” act:

  • Leverage Your Relationships: If you have cultivated a great network and relationships, don’t feel bad about reaching out to someone for help. Many “nice girls” feel bad asking others for help, but they need to get over that and take advantage of the relationships they worked hard to build.
  • Don’t Say Yes All the Time: Pick and choose what you’ll say yes to, and be sure to “manage people’s expectations” by stating your limitations about the project and what you’ll realistically be able to get done.
  • Use Fewer Words: Instead of talking too much, try to make your messages succinct and to the point. Frankel says, “Women tend to use more words than men because they either feel as if they have to compensate for something or prove themselves.” Use fewer words and gestures. Be sure to be mindful of filler words such as “like” and “uh-huh” as well.

To read this post in its original form, head over to Savvy Sugar

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730111669 Jessica Irizarry

    Leveraging relationships can also improve the relationship and create a great network of individuals who may reccommend you, or whom you may be able to recommend, for furture opportunities.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730111669 Jessica Irizarry

    Leveraging relationships can also improve the relationship and create a great network of individuals who may reccommend you, or whom you may be able to recommend, for furture opportunities.

  • Guest

    How aggressive you are depends on the environment you work in as well. I am one of 3 females in my department, and the only one in a technical role. I have had to gradually work my way to a fairly high level of assertiveness before I feel I was considered as valued as my male counterparts. I had to go through a phase of being labeled a ‘B’ for a bit, but now I am respected for my expertise and have gotten 2 promotions since.