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Under: Money and Relationships
Family / Friend's Weddings
  • Claudet
    How do you balance the importance of someone's special day with your budget?

    I have a close family member that is getting married in an exotic location that I know I can't afford to attend, but everybody in the family became really upset when I suggested I wouldn't go. A wealthy family member that I am not very close to has offered to pay for the whole thing, but I don't feel comfortable being "indebted" to them. However, the rest of the family can't understand why I wouldn't go if it's "free". The end result is that I feel pressured to just go and pay for it myself whatever it costs. I'm still not comfortable with it and I especially don't like feeling forced to go at some cost to my financial independence. Am I being insensitive to the significance of a wedding? Any advice or thoughts?
  • ChristineNeely
    I don't think you're being insensitive. My best friend is getting married and I'm the MOH. For your situation I would suggest that maybe you appreciate that the family member is offering to pay and work out a "50/50" plan if you feel like you need to pay to get there. Alternatively, what if you suggest to the family member to have a second small reception when they return home so you can show your appreciation towards them and they can also share their wedding with other people who couldn't make it? I'm a wedding photographer, and I can tell you that is becoming increasingly popular to do. Then on a personal note, if you're definitely attending the wedding, maybe there's a cheaper hotel to stay at, or if you would otherwise have your hair and makeup done, learn to do it yourself. Or offer your services at the wedding to pull in a bit of income to make up for your recent splurge?

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