Honey I Shrunk the Budget: Letting Your Spouse Know You’re in Debt

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Check out another great post from our friends at MainStreet:

Ever hear of “financial infidelity”? That’s when you hide a debt issue from a spouse, and it’s a toxic poison that eats away at even the most stable marriage.

The good news is that you can do something about it—as long as you’re committed to being open and honest about the problem.

Don’t doubt for a minute how high the stakes are with financial infidelity. Study after study shows that money—or lack of it—is a huge factor in the success of a marriage, especially a new one.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, a marriage is at its most fragile during the first five years.

In fact, 20% of all divorces occur within those first five years. According to another study from Forbes Women and the National Endowment for Financial Education, 31% of spouses have lied to their partners about money.

“A third of the population admits to not being honest with their spouse,” says NEFE chief executive Ted Beck, in a statement. “That is a big number. These indiscretions cause significant damage to the relationship.”

The need to deceive a spouse about financial problems is a huge issue, and one that grows worse the longer the deception lasts. But spouses who hide debt apparently can’t bring themselves to open up and admit the problem, primarily because they know the rift it may cause in the relationship, and partly out of shame and/or guilt.

What’s the way out for debt-ridden spouses hiding the problem? It isn’t easy, but if you follow this blueprint, you’ll likely address the issue, keep your marriage or relationship intact, and maybe even sleep better at night.

Open Up and Admit the Problem

Yes, it sounds obvious—and likely painful. But honesty really is the best policy when dealing with a hidden debt problem. So by all means, open up. Do so in person, and avoid phone calls, texts or emails. Dialogue is going to be a huge issue, and conducting that dialogue face-to-face should increase the chance of a decent resolution. If your spouse is on your side, he or she will appreciate, sooner or later, the fact that you came clean in person.

Bring Your Debts With You

Another painful, but in the long run, helpful exercise is to bring your debts with you when you discuss the problem with your spouse. Print out your bills and debts, your bank account records and any appropriate receipts, organize them into a binder and show them to your spouse or partner. This tactic serves twin purposes—it helps you acknowledge exactly what you’re up against, and demonstrates to your partner that you’re serious about working the problem out.

Schedule a ‘Budget Meeting’

Don’t make the discussion a one-off. Ask your spouse for a weekly “budget meeting” where you can discuss bills and debts, and work out a long-range program to pay them off. That shows your commitment to solving the problem together.

Sign Up for Online Debt Access

To further the transparency issue, make sure you and your spouse both have the same access to bank accounts, credit card accounts, and other financial obligations. When a spouse shares your banks or credit card account, it’s much more difficult to hide purchases and withdrawals from one another. Also, take advantage of debt repayment tools like BankingMyWay’s Credit Card Payoff Calculator to better manage your repayment campaign.

Create a Debt Repayment Plan Together

There’s no getting around the fact that you have to pay the money back on your debts. In fact, not only is your credit rating on the line, but your marriage may very well be, too. So build a debt resolution plan together. Visit a financial advisor as a couple (if you don’t have one, visit the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors website for help) or contact a debt relief agency together. You can find one that’s legit at the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies website.

Don’t let financial infidelity ruin your relationships. Get in front of the problem, admit you have a problem and enlist your spouse’s help. Because if you think debt is a big headache, imagine how another “D” word—divorce—will add to your financial woes.

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  • Just Call Me Sucker

    my boyfriend “borrowed” my credit card without asking and then got insulted when I called him a thief…said it was my fault, he called and I didn’t answer so he thought I fell down the stairs with a load of laundry or something, so drove here; problem was, he didn’t have enough gas to get back home…. Not to mention he has borrowed money several times over the 4 years together, very rarely paid any back, and only when nagged – and only after talking the amount down based upon money he says he spent on me! Meanwhile he constantly says I hold things over his head, when he’s the one bringing them up because he feels guilt and it makes him angry at me! I honestly believe he stays in the relationship because I have more money than he does (because I know how to manage my money) and he can’t walk away from the future benefits he anticipates from someone who has a paid for house and car and very little debt, while he lives paycheck-to-paycheck and is always running out before the next check comes. He rents and constantly has to “short” his landlord and pay extra to make up later, only recently bought a car because I was leaving for the winter and he’d have to walk after riding (free) with me for 4 years. His 15 yr old son has no decent clothes, gets basically nothing for birthdays or Christmas from his dad who says he understands…. OK, I know you wonder why I stay with him – and I have only one answer, as many times as I have broken up with him he comes crying and I can’t turn him away.

  • Cheney Kelvin

    My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job in

  • Cheney Kelvin

    My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is egogotemple@yahoo.com

  • Leo Jennifer

    My name is Jennifer and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful DR PALOMA, a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through ***. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet DR PALOMA Email palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a 2das my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email: palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com

  • Mark Sonia

    My name is Sonia, and i live in uk.I have been through hell and pain,looking for a good and real spell caster who can help me get my husband back.I have been scammed so many times,by some who claimed to be real spell casters.until i found the real and great spell caster ADAGBASPIRITUSLTEMPLE who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my boyfriend who left me since eight months ago.and after that i also took my friend along,who was also having the same problem concerning her husband,who left her since five months ago,and the problem was also solved by the same ADAGBASPIRITUALTEMPLE”. Can’t you see! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem related to spell casting.It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now “adagbaspiritualtemple@gmail.com” is here,and the best for you to solve your problems…….
    adagbaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

    ….

  • Dona Smith

    i am giving this testimony cos l am happy My name is mrs. Dona Smith
    from Houston,taxes.i never believed in love spells or magic until i met
    this spell caster once. when i went to Africa in December this year on a
    business summit. i ment a man called dr. ADAGBA.He is powerful he could
    help you cast a spells to bring back my love’s gone,misbehaving lover
    looking for some one to love you, bring back lost money and magic money
    spell or spell for a good job.i’m now happy & a living testimony
    cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding
    and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 2
    years. i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no
    good paying job. so when i met this spell caster, i told him what
    happened and explained the situation of things to him..at first i was
    undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. and in 6
    days when i returned to taxes, my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he
    called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been
    settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we
    should get married..i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked
    for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. well we
    are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my
    husband also got a new job and our lives became much better. in case
    anyone needs the spell caster for some help, email address
    adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com Great ADAGBAi thank you very much thank
    you in 1000000 times.. if not you i would have been losted and wasted
    thank you. please make sure you contact him for any financial
    difficulties okay.. What a powerful man such as Dr ADAGBA.. he is so
    much powerful..\ email him for any difficulties..
    adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

  • Martins Lanaya

    i am very happy today too share my testimony to the world for what Dr
    oshemili did in my life. i had a misunderstanding with my husband in
    the past and so it led to us breaking up for 3 years but one day i saw a
    post of Mrs Lucy who posted on the internet of how Dr oshemili help her
    to get her husband back, i never believe on spell but i just contact
    him to help me and he assured me that my husband will come back to me
    between 48 hours i am so happy today that my husband come back to me
    begging, we are now together and happy i want thank Dr oshemili once
    again, he is so powerful. if you have any problem contact him on his
    email oshemilitemple@gmail.com

  • https://www.facebook.com/adams.tricail adams trace

    What a beautiful and wonderful testimony some time things you don’t believe can just happen.my name is Adams Trace i am from U.S.A am 25 years old i got married at the age of 24 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help. i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called Dr.ogala, he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him Dr.ogala. I contacted his email address.And i told him everything that happen all he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after One hour my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again. So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address:(Holyspellcast@gmail.com, if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems. He can use his HOLY spell to help you. his web site http://holyspellcast.webs.com and you can also call him +2348072371282 THANKS..

  • https://www.facebook.com/adams.tricail adams trace

    What a beautiful and wonderful testimony some time things you don’t believe can just happen.my name is Adams Trace i am from U.S.A am 25 years old i got married at the age of 24 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help. i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called Dr.ogala, he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him Dr.ogala. I contacted his email address.And i told him everything that happen all he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after One hour my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again. So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address:(Holyspellcast@gmail.com, if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems. He can use his HOLY spell to help you. his web site http://holyspellcast.webs.com and you can also call him +2348072371282 THANKS….

  • https://www.facebook.com/adams.tricail adams trace

    What a beautiful and wonderful testimony some time things you don’t believe can just happen.my name is Adams Trace i am from U.S.A am 25 years old i got married at the age of 24 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help. i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called Dr.ogala, he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him Dr.ogala. I contacted his email address.And i told him everything that happen all he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after One hour my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again. So my advice for you now is to contact this same email address:(Holyspellcast@gmail.com, if you are in any kind of situation concerning love issues and any other things that give you problems. He can use his HOLY spell to help you. his web site http://holyspellcast.webs.com and you can also call him +2348072371282 THANKS…..

  • JOES CANDRA

    I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM that is his email address bye.