Money Mic: Why I Want to Marry Rich

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In our Money Mic series, we present an essay from someone with a bold opinion on a money topic. Past editions have included conversations about how living together will affect your finances, why “homesteading” could be a new feminist career and why the CARD Act may actually hurt women. In this latest Money Mic, we spoke to one woman who tells us outright that she wants to marry rich. 

The views expressed here are those of the essayist and not the LearnVest staff, but we look forward to opening the floor to debate and discussion. Tell us what you think in the comments below.

Money is a core value and a deal breaker, like religion or children. A lot of people would sympathize if I said I didn’t want to marry someone because he didn’t want kids or his religious beliefs clashed with mine, but it’s a lot less socially acceptable to say that I wouldn’t want to marry someone who is poor.

Money is a divisive factor—on a global scale the pursuit of it causes wars and crime, and on a personal level it leads to immense stress. My mother grew up in near poverty, so she replies to “money can’t buy happiness” with, “No? Try going without it.”

I never intend to do so—I plan to marry rich.*

“Marrying for money” gets a bad rap because it sounds so mercenary. It’s implied that in marrying for money, you sell yourself to the highest bidder, regardless of the person holding the auction paddle. You then enter a lifetime of derision and emotional sacrifice, eschewing true happiness in favor of in-season Manolos. For me, a college-educated, generally rational woman, marrying for money isn’t at the expense of all else—it’s just a priority. Having that priority, my potential husbands are self-selecting. They, like me, are people who both have and value money.

You see, “marrying rich” isn’t about draping myself in diamonds and paying for superfluous cosmetic surgeries. It’s about being able to protect myself and my family from whatever expenses the world may throw at us: medical issues, legal problems, retirement. And in doing that, I will still be able to live in comfort, to give my children every advantage, and to seize opportunities like travel, investments and tickets to The Book of Mormon, but without incurring debt or sacrificing the basics in favor of the luxurious.

And I am not alone. A January 2011 study conducted by the London School of Economics and published by the Centre for Policy Studies found that in the half-century of feminist progress between the 1940s and the 1990s, the percentage of women “marrying up,” if you will, has nearly doubled. Granted, the exact percentages were taken from the UK, but I’ll go out on a limb and theorize that globalization doesn’t stop at worldwide Baywatch reruns. So if the battle for social equality has run parallel to an increase in women looking for wealthy partners, why haven’t women jumped the track and made it their mission to acquire their own assets? Because they don’t have to.

To allay your doubts, I am a staunch feminist at every turn. To me, feminism is the belief that women are people who deserve basic and equivalent rights in accordance with those granted to the opposite sex. That’s all. So before dismissing my choices as anti-feminist, break them down. I choose to protect my family to the best of my ability; to avoid a lifetime of corporate busywork and contribute in a less-lucrative but more passionate manner; to prioritize my home and family over my career.

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In light of your (presumed) insistence that I can work and have a family–that I can have it all–I might point out that phrase is outdated by at least 20 years. With the encroaching of work into American home life and the always-present second shift, life doesn’t get easier for women as time marches on; it just gets difficult in new and frustrating ways. I plan to eliminate the shift that means the least to me (work) in favor of doing my absolute best in the other two (my family and home). Instead of squeaking by in all three, I will delegate.

As you’ve no doubt gathered by now, I know that mine isn’t a popular point of view. To brandish it at a cocktail party would be social suicide—which is why I’ve decided to write this piece under a pseudonym. I recognize that some women choose to give their heart and soul to their careers, and that others embrace their True Love, even if he—or she—lives in a studio and substitute teaches to support a career in Impressionist sculpture. Somehow it has come about that either of those life paths are considered more virtuous than marrying for money. But that’s okay. I never wanted to be virtuous—just rich.

*For the sake of this argument, I’m defining “rich” as an income of at least $300,000 per year and $1,000,000+ in investable assets.

Emilia is a single 23-year-old currently working in marketing who chose NYC for its abundance of available money. While prone to the occasional worry or doubt about the money (and man) specifically available to her, it’s nothing that a quick jaunt to Wall Street won’t fix.

What do you think of Emilia’s views? Give us a shout on Twitter (@LearnVest) or on Facebook!

  • Jubu

    Garbage like this is exactly why my wife has never, and will never have access to my bank account, and why she signed a prenup.  Keep thinking you got it all figured out sister, anyone who’s smart enough to be successful is smart enough to know a gold digger when he sees one and avoid them.

    • Lovely

      If you felt your wife is a gold digger and can’t be trusted with access to you bank account maybe you need to figure it out brother. Obviously you don’t trust and and didn’t have the good sense to avoid her. Sounds to me like you may be quite untrustworthy yourself.

    • Earldj

      Why did you marry her? What does it feel like to sleep and live with someone you can’t trust? What is the point of it? LOL, you are FUNNY ranting about your wife!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Zarat/100002545695048 Anthony Zarat

    Marriage is as outdated and worthless as you are.

  • http://blog.gracewoo.net/ Grace Woo

    I just noticed that there are some new girls with some very strong opinions too:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CU040Hqbashttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rbMHLDY1pA

  • songbird1234

    Let’s talk in 10 years and see how you’ve been doing with your rich husband who doesn’t invest emotionally or physically in you or your family, who monitors every dime you spend and who expects not just excellence, but PERFECTION in your home and kids because, let’s face it- that’s your only responsibility. I always thought I’d marry someone that was at least “comfortable” financially, because I assumed they would be the only one to keep me excited and interested- the ones that would travel with me, that maybe went to an Ivy League, and had an interesting career and interesting views that would lead to philosophical debates and genuine interest in the others opinions. I ended up marrying a man I met in college who was nothing like I planned on. He, in many ways was not who I imagined- no doctor or lawyer with no aspirations to be. He was someone who was passionate about people and I’ve watched those passions take him from being a special ed teacher to being a personal trainer- excelling at both, but never financially. I’ve always been the “breadwinner”, and work in the financial industry. But I feel richer than I ever imagined feeling. Because of my husband’s dedication to me, and love of family, people and life, I’ve never had dinner go cold because he couldn’t get home from the office. He’s never shooed by beloved dogs off of the furniture because they shed. He’s never prevented me from doing great things in my own life, or vice versa, and we have served as each others cheerleaders year in and year out. We’ve still traveled, and have become smarter BECAUSE of our need to budget. We’ve had adventures, amazing conversations, and grand experiences BECAUSE of our circumstances- not in spite of them. From your article, it sounds like you want the ability to have freedom- freedom to sleep in, to take care of your kids, to decorate your home the way you like, etc. But it’s NOT freedom. It’s someone else’s money, and you have NO idea (no matter how patient, kind, understanding, etc) that they’re going to agree to any bit of your plan. Not only that, but 20 years from now, when you’ve experienced an Upper East Side penthouse and weekend in the Hamptons, and God forbid, your husband is laid off, or worse, what will your marriage stand on? Marry someone that you love enough with, or without money. Someone that, if you had to, you would work at a Starbucks for to know they’d have a roof over their head, and someone that you know would do the same for you. If what you’re counting on is that, at the end of your life, money will have made the difference in how valuable you were, you might want to take a long, hard look in the mirror and examine what it is you’re valuing about yourself. If it has anything to do with money, appearance or “stuff”, you can be sure that those things will run out. And even if they don’t, life runs out, and at that point, you won’t care about the balance of your checking account.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZRRV4PXVLD3LVXTNRFXTQK5F6E Joe

      Excellent post, songbird.

  • Poopoo

    Beauty is skin deep, but shallowness goes throughout…..

  • Freddimac

    All women plan to marry rich because all women are whores. 

  • Anonymous

    MARRIAGE IS NOTHING MORE THAN TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER MANS DAUGHTER….DONOT DO IT…WILL BE SORRY LATER….

  • Eli Rosales

    Who ever quoted “money can’t buy happiness” is out of their mind.. I agree very much with this article, becuase if you have no money you have no security, and when you are broke and can’t afford your bills house and food, your really going to say your happy? I don’t think so! Its not about the diamonds or purses or whatever other luxuries, its the sense of comfort to be able to take care of the necesities in your familys life. This isn’t at all selfish or about gold digging! Its REALITY!!

  • SMV

    How’s this new info? Hasn’t this been happening forever now?

  • Duh

    She’s 23 years old folks.  Right now her priorities include trendy fashions, Facebook and American Idol.  In other news a 5 year old wants to be an astronaut.

  • Former Wall St 1%er

    This young lady is just asking to be disappointed. How do I know? There are far more ‘attractive, young, and hunting for a meal ticket’ women on Wall Street than there are single men earning big bucks. Far more. Half the people who claim to be on Wall Street might be in the back offices. Earning $100k+ but certainly not in the category she is looking for. A lot of folk also don’t hit the big bucks till they are well into their 40s. $300k is partner level salary in a typical law firm. Plenty are already married.

    I used to work on Wall Street. Made $500k+ with bonuses. Life was so easy when it came to meeting women. I am single, young (now 35), no kids, never been married. My kind, which is what you are looking for, is hard to come by. Really hard. Pretty girls in ‘marketing’? Around every street corner, and in every bar in Manhattan. IIRC, there are far more single women in NY than single guys. Ergo, far far far more beautiful single girls than high $$ single guys.

    So, first off, you need to be really hot. I mean incredibly hot. And you have to be competitive. There is loads of competition. My friends and I would think nothing of flying to London, or LA for the weekend, because some model agency had invited us to one of their parties. Mid week, we were probably working so hard and so late that normal dating was out of the equation anyway. So, you are competing not just against hot girls already in NY, but also against hot girls pretty much anywhere that is flying distance from NY. Incredibly hot girls at that.

    Then, you need to find a guy who is single, earning the big bucks, *and*
    is ready to settle down. Again, there aren’t many of those around. There are fewer than 1,000 men in the *whole* of NY state that fit the bill you are after.  And each one of those has 100 women chasing after *him*. Attractive women too. Women in his office with better access to him than you in your ‘marketing’ job. Professional gold diggers who spend every waking moment doing nothing but tracking and plotting how to bag one of these men. That’s your competition. Unless of course you are happy to expand your search to include married men who will give you a nice allowance in exchange for favors. Or a generous boyfriend who will have fun with you but will never marry you.

    Did I mention that you have to be incredibly beautiful. Ridiculously
    beautiful. And naturally beautiful too. No guy I know in those circles wants to *marry* a
    woman who has already had a boob job. Or been under the knife in any
    form. That should happen after you have delivered the 2.4 kids. never before. If you’ve already had a boob job, you are good for a shag, but nobody on the partner track at a big and respectable law firm will ever marry you. Ever!

    And don’t forget that a lot of the people pulling in the big $$ on Wall Street come from proud families, and they might already have a bunch of ‘pre selected by mom’ potential wives in the Hamptons. A lot of guys I worked with were in this group. Playing the field in NY, but knew they would eventually marry a girl from a good (read rich) family when they settled down. These are girls for whom marrying a guy who earns $300k is the least that is expected of them. Went to great schools, Ivy or private college, art history major, no scandals, and now run an art gallery paid for by *their* daddy’s money.

    It does not end there. I have a housekeeper who looks after the home. I don’t need anyone to ‘run the house’, whatever that means. My mom ran her own business. So did my father. My mother always used to warn me against ever marrying a ‘broiler’, i.e. a stay at home woman. As my mother used to put it, she already has several maids, and she does not need anymore help in the home. I do not want a stay at home wife! I never have, and never will.

    I want a partner. And, a partner does not need my money. She has her own. I want someone who can hold a conversation in polite society. I want someone who will be accepted in polite society … there is plenty of time for me in my 60s to embarrass myself with a blonde bimbo eye candy. I want someone who grew up with money, and for whom it is not an unhealthy emotional hangover. Basically, someone not like you. See above on “woman from the right family” to marry, after years spent, well, banging “I want to be a model” types.

    As a lot of people have asked you already, “What does Emily bring to the table?”. Unfortunately, there are women who will beat you in the looks department. There are women who will beat you in the earnings department. There are women who will beat you in the marriageability department. And finally, there are women who will beat you in all three.

    What you are looking for, (very single, very rich, late 20s or early 30s, seeking wife) is an outlier, even on Wall Street. Unless you too are an outlier, and stupidly hot, I would revise my demands downwards, and hunt for a nice guy who is *only* on $120k. Hahaha.

  • Earn It

    As a working wife who is “doing it all,” with a working husband who is also “doing it all” – and (gasp) equally at that — this vapid article could not be further from the feminism you claim to follow. 

    You veil your opinion as respectable by resting it on your desire to protect and focus on family.  Instead, you more or less insulting every woman who has chosen to have an ambitious, fruitful career while still raising their children.  More so, you assume that there is no value to a woman’s career (or life, for that matter) outside of earning money, which is only made more obvious by your ridiculous standard of “rich.” 

    If you want $300,000 a year, be a woman and earn it.  Maybe along the way you will pick up some outside interests, knowledge, and self-respect.

  • Praise George

    You spoke your mind. That’s good. You hid behind a pseudonym, that’s quite shameful. If you believe in what you wrote, then let the whole world know who you are and what you stand for. You have sown seeds in the hearts of the naive and this will lead to unhappiness and pain. It is sad to see that the world has left you and your materialism behind. People marry for love and happiness and not for money. If you want money, get off your lazy behind and work for it. Women fought for decades to win the freedom to be themselves and live their dreams…and that includes getting married to the man they love, not for money.

  • Guest

    When I was dating, I too had financial minimums for the men I would date. Within that criteria, I found a man that I love more than anything! We have an incredibly happy marriage, unfettered by squabbles and tension about money, and two children we can afford to raise as we see fit.
    Everyone has their “perfect mate” criteria.  Some care about ethnicity, religion, physical attributes, intelligence, etc.  Wanting your spouse to earn a decent paycheck is no more shallow than any of these.  It takes money to make the world go ’round – like it or not.  Anyone who says it doesn’t matter has never lived in poverty.
    I applaud your bravery young lady, and wish you luck.  I know you’ll find your true love, as I did.  Just make sure that love matters a bit more than the money and I know you’ll find happiness.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/IEHFQ7K6QVZRMCWBMPHRRXQKE4 Jamie

      What’s your definition of a “decent” paycheck? My dad makes a decent paycheck as an architect. “$70,000″ a year. Probably won’t attract women like you or Emilia. But he is damn resourceful with his money. He knows when to save and when to spend. And when he spends, he always knows the best bargain. He studies and makes chart comparison. He reads consumer reports and talks to his connections in various sectors. And he saves a lot. I rather have a dad like that who only makes $70,000 with that kind of savvy with money then a dad who makes $300,000 and then blow it off. He taught me what $300,000 can’t buy. Why, the doctor I shadowed makes around that figure of $300,000. He’s like my dad. His car is second hand and he goes to haircut places that cost only $6. He waits until midnight until sushi are on sale then he buys. Funny story is that he even waited with a fellow doctor.
      Sorry ladies. But it takes more than just money to make the world go round and round. Ladies should be looking for that kind of attributes in a man rather than just making $300,000 per year. Your future generation will thank you teaching them how to fish rather than giving them fish.
      Plus this author is just speaking nonsense. Who wants to be poor? Ask any person off the street. Some people are poor but they have the courage and will to work hard to live. And they know how to live with a rather tight paycheck. That’s something money can’t buy. Ingenuity.

      • Shayna

         Well said, Jamie.

    • Nothing wrong with that

      Marrying for money and keeping property in families is the oldest criteria for getting married.  There is something wrong with our society when people do not realize it.  The thing is People with money and property marry people with money and property, if you come from the “wrong side of the tracks”  your chances of marring a man in the top 1% are very low.  Last I checked out of 7 billion people on the planet, 1% is still a lot of choices.  good luck.

  • Mcorrigan2807

    Emilia, You are about as stupid as women come.  I almost married a woman coming out of college just like you and she dumped me to marry for the money.  Now twenty some years later I make more money than she does and she’s been divorced at least once that I know of and maybe more than that.  So few people make $300,000 per year let alone $50,000 per year.  So a man who makes $35,000 a year is less of a man because he can’t fulfill your fantasy of security in the suburbs?  You sound so twisted.  You preach equality as a feminist but yet you seek an unfair competitive socioeconomic advantage by “marrying up”.  How is this “equal”?  I wish I had such options.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with a vagina for some rich man to play with.    If I did I would never work another day in my life.  Other than your private parts, exactly what in cash flow are you bringing to the dinner room table?  You are the reason why by the time a man is twenty-five years old he wants nothing to do with a woman in her twenties.  It is clear your brain is not functioning properly like most women in their twenties.  If I smelled a golddigger like you coming I’d run as fast as I could to my lawyer to draft the most unconscionable, one-sided, pre-nuptial agreement and whip it out five minutes before the wedding ceremony.  That way you would have to explain to your family that you changed your mind because you weren’t going to get anything out of me.  I don’t need to rant on because you will find out for yourself in few short years what the real world is all about.  And it isn’t about you.
           
     

  • Motowntom48044

    Well I know that you will get what you want (deserve). Can’t wait to read your bitter, I got f$%# over interview in 10 -15 years. You deserve it you idiot. I hope all the real rational wonderfull woman of the world respond to this disturbed person. What a waste of youth.

  • Ck1snowbunny_99

    the problem surrounds the idea of what counts as “having money.” It’s not how much you make. It’s what you do with it. We know teachers who scrimp and save and have more money banked than someone who makes two or three times as much. The pitfall is that the old saying is often true- the more you make, the more you spend. You could very well marry a man who makes that much and still have nothing left over each month. That salary often comes with an expected lifestyle that doesn’t pay for itself. I’m not sure if I’d trade the love of my life who makes $50K a year for someone else who makes far more. Looking back over the last twelve years of our relationship, we had more saved when we were making 8 bucks an hour than we do now…. because we “deserve” more now that we’re working ”so much harder.” Shame on us! Bankruptcy here we come! 

  • Myself333

    Since there are very few men who would meet your financial requirements, I assume you must be a very good-looking young woman to think that you would be able to “land” one of them.

     Please don’t insult our intelligence by telling us that you are anything more than an expensive call girl. For your information, men with that kind of money have pretty women lined up to date them, and they can spot a shallow golddigger a mile a way.

     You used a pseudonym to hide your immature, manipulative ways from your friends and from your prospective victim whose money you will confiscate in the name of “$ecurity”.

     Rich men beware – it will take an expert to discern love from greed. Average men – be glad fools like this aren’t hunting you.

  • Experienced

    Girl, I understand wanting to live comfortably is what you are aiming for. You don’t have to marry rich to achieve this. I’m a 47 yr old single mother who has achieved that by working hard and making the right choices after taking some hits in life. I married someone who made a great living. I felt secure. As life would sometimes have it, I caught him cheating on me. I took my son and left and probably acheived greater things than if I would have stayed with him. I was fuel by determination, pride and a strong work ethic. I’ve made it. I did not have to rely on anyone but myself. This is what you need to learn. You may marry rich but that doesn’t mean you’re safe. Life is uncertain. Prepare yourself for that. Otherwise you are deluding yourself. 

    In response to Myself333, not all rich men look for a young, goodlooking, expensive call girl / trophy wife. If he does, then he deserves one.

  • Formerheriondealer

    I wonder what you bring to the table that makes you think someone with money would like to marry you?

    Anyway, good luck

  • Anonymous

    The hypothetical rich guy in your future sounds pretty zero-dimensional.  You won’t ruin yourself with corporate busywork, but for some reason, he will without complaint.  You’ll focus on the home.  Logically, he won’t (?)

    If you’ve got a hard requirement of $300K income + $1M investments, he might have a hard requirement of 34C-26-34 + BJ’s at dawn.  It’s only fair.    If he’s making that kind of money, he won’t have more than an hour a day for you.  Which sounds fine, because you don’t seem  to be too interested in him as a person, either.

    I do applaud you for the honesty to say what many women won’t even admit to themselves.

  • Johnson

    Spoken like the prostitute you are. Marry rich means you are making him pay for sex.

  • Stevenabb500

    She does realize that as soon as she turns 39, the kids are teenagers( old enough to not be traumatized by divorce )and she gets a bit of grey in the hair and some flab typical of a 39+ year old woman, she’s dumped? right? Common… These guys will pay off the prenup amount as just a cost of doing business to get new younger trophy wife. So now she is 39, no real life skills other than home-maker and a prenup amount that WILL NOT support her for life. Time to work a $9 per hour job and live in a studio apartment rich girl :)  

  • http://twitter.com/Iamablackguy R.E.

    Like my father said….”After 25 most American women will view you as a business decision…always value your freedom…not your physical freedom but your emotional and financial freedom from women”.  I waited a solid 6 years to marry my wife at 33.  She saw me when i had no job and when i had a job…she told me exactly these words “I want a damm good man who has a rich work ethic rather than riches because money comes and goes but a damm good man who leads a woman is priceless”.

    i can’t wait to see this young lady eat crow in another 6 years.  what will you do at 30?

  • TheTruthSucks!

    What is “Emilia Echolls”? An anagram? Well “Emilia”, I’ve read over 30 replies, and all of them were sane and rational. And this person ”Former Wall St 1%er”, for taking the time he did (waste) to talk to you, you should give him easily $1,000 as the amount of personal grief and loss he’s attempted to keep you from experiencing over the next, easily, 10 years is simply phenomenal. You are working against the odds that you couldn’t imagine, well, he painted you a very accurate picture, didn’t he? Almost all that posted did too, which you won’t listen to either. Have fun, what little you’ll get. Women are flawed against men. They’ll stay single, or now that it’s accepted, become gay before going out with poor guys. I know, I’ve been living it for 30 years. Everyone hates the poor, especially women.

  • Bkampsch

    I hope you’re hot if you want to marry rich.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Donati/100003116485257 Andrew Donati

    She should at least be respected for her honesty and integrity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Donati/100003116485257 Andrew Donati

    But then of course, the essay prose could be based on irony/subtle sarcasm.

  • Uvednitnow

    I feel for you, in some ways I think you are right and in other ways wrong. I think marrying for money is shallow, just like marrying for looks is. I’m reading these posts from men who are upset because you want to marry for money and yet they keep mentioning looks which is equally shallow. You don’t have to be a beauty queen to marry someone successful. I am married to a surgeon and I know many women who are not gorgeous who are married to successful professionals who make 300 k. plus and some have been married decades. My advice to you would be try to be the best you can be, in your career, sports, looks, etc., then you will have a larger selection in which to find love and if it doesn’t work out you will be able to take care of yourself. Plus, you can be more picky yourself. Not all marriages work out but it ‘s not just the wealthy that cheat, sometimes it’s also the teachers, cops, etc.

  • wiselatina

    Wow. I’m a woman who used to kind of think the same way when I was maybe 21 or so, but I quickly wised up. Now I just focus my time on building my business and making my OWN money. My motto is “M.O.D. Money Over Dicks” And I decided I never want to get married!

  • https://openid.aol.com/opaque/14d27014-f554-11df-bbb5-000bcdca4d7a Your Name

    To the Author:

    It’s totally doable if you’re attractive and/or charming enough – the question is: are you? 
    I think in order to be fair to the reader you should have provided a full-length photo with the article.  You posted a photo where you’re hunched over in sunglasses and a floppy hat, and you look cute in that photo, but not much is visible, which makes me suspect that there is potentially some physical flaw that might make it a long shot for you to marry rich.  I think that if you were very beautiful, you would’ve posted a good picture and you’d probably even get a number of worthy suitors proposing to you within a few days, invitations to appear on talk shows, etc - this article has gotten a lot of exposure (congratulations).

    Also you should know that $300K / a year PLUS $1M liquid assets not only means that you’re marrying rich, you’re likely marrying someone over 40 (unless you can find a trust-fund baby, senior banker or a dot-com millionaire).  Even earning $300K a year it takes quite a while to get $1M in “investable” (which I read as “liquid” – in other words, someone who makes $300K and owns a million-dollar house wouldn’t be rich enough). 

    • https://openid.aol.com/opaque/14d27014-f554-11df-bbb5-000bcdca4d7a Your Name

      By the way – did a “Google Image Search” and the photo of “Emilia Echolls” is a stock photo has appeared in various places around the Internet.

      Anyway, congrats, you got my attention and I wasted time thinking about this article.

  • Anonymous

    If I were a guy who had that income (I have six figures just not in your desired bracket), I would ask what you were bringing to the table.

    Lots of women say they like “ambitious” men which almost always correlates to the said man’s income levels.  So I don’t think you are all that far out there with this idea.

    Moreover, coming from a traditional culture (I’m Indian), I have seen this idea expressed in its most brutally honest form.  In my culture, men with good earning potential (education) or currently good earnings will get the best proposals (best looking or from wealthy families).  Don’t make as much?  Don’t expect to get your pick of the litter.

    Which brings me back to my point.  I applaud you for your honesty and ambition.  But if I made $300 000 per year and had $1 million in investable assets (that’s less than 1% of all available males out there), I would be quite picky in my mates.  And when I do marry, I would probably a wife that could model in Vogue, cook like Gordon Ramsey, and entertain as well as the company that Eliott Spitzer paid for.  After all, if I’m in the top 1% of men out there, why would not I expect my wife to be in the top 1% of desirable women?  The catch?  Guys don’t care as much about their women being wealthy.  We’ll look at your bra and waist size before your net worth.  Hope you have enough of the right asset mix to make the cut.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/IEHFQ7K6QVZRMCWBMPHRRXQKE4 Jamie

      That’s true. If I made $300,00 per year and had $1 million in investable assets, I don’t want just one wife with all those qualities, do I? I can always get more than one. After all, I’m in the top 1% of the men out there so why would not I expect the person beside me to be always in the top 1% desirable women even if my wife grows old and gray?
      What a world we live in.

  • Aspin182

    i think that this is a fantastic article, and agree with it, im a guy age 29, and have my own company, my girlfriend has openly admitted that she wouldn´t want a bloke who had no money, and i cant blaim her, money can buy you happyness, im currently holidaying in brazil, the role of the woman in the home is just as important as the role of the man to hunter-gather, its a balance…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BBBOFQ3DDBN6UQMK7HDHDPNXG4 John Doe

    Thank you for your honesty.  Now all your future boyfriends will know what you are about and can dump you long before marriage becomes a possibility.  If I want someone who is staying with me for my money, I can go get a mistress.  They are a lot easier (and cheaper) than a wife.

    If you truly believe that men and women should have equivalent rights, then men have the same right that you do to insist on marrying up.  I’m sure you can imagine what will happen if you take that line of thinking to its logical conclusion.

    • Jorge

      So true on many levels, and, if this woman is willing to make these decisions based on an economic one is it not wrong for the man to ask how much income potential she has as well? 

  • http://blog.gracewoo.net/ Grace Woo

    Dear Lord. I just realized. What if Emilia is a MAN???

  • Anonymous

    Well… good luck, Honey…
    Of course, for every woman who marries up… there’s a man who must be willing to marry down… isn’t there?… so your strategy relies on two very important facts… that men of means are Not going to be evaluating your suitability on the basis of your wealth or potential income… and that you DO have something that they want desperately enough to be willing to give you legal claim to half of what they have.
    hmm… sounds like a good plan if you happen to be drop dead gorgeous enough, and personable enough to be that attractive to men of means…  But you really haven’t established that that’s the case, have you?
    Love is definitely an economy… I can’t fault your dreaming that you are worth what you imagine…  but the market will determine whether you bring the goods, or have an inflated sense of self worth.  And I can not help but find Your dream of marrying money to be any less a naive romantic fantasy than any other pastel pink picture of Prince Charming.

  • Anonymous

    Judging by the photograph at the bottom, it doesn’t seem like “Emilia” is any more attractive than millions of other women out there. So unless she is making hundreds of thousands of dollars herself, I don’t see what makes her think that she is going to have such an easy time finding a rich husband.

  • prenup

    As a “wealthy” man who knows that many money certainly helps to meet woman, when i date i ONLY date hot girls. I have just as much chance liking whats under the skin of a hot girls as I do with a homely one. So, while i understand Emilia’s hope to marry rish she simply isnt hot enough to make the cut. What does she have to offer in return? Personally?! Honey, hot girls have those too. ;)

    • too hot for you

      Ya but…are YOU hot? No amount of money can make YOU hot. And congrats on only dating hot women because you have money. Shows your lack of depth and insecurity. I wish you could buy yourself some class, integrity and personality, but you can’t buy that can you? Oh ya, and you can’t buy love either. Poor you. And you are a poor speller.

  • Catsupkid

    At 23 most girls are staunch nothings yet. It may be a fun age but it is not an age where you know where you really stand on much of anything. Wait a few years and look back on this for a laugh, if you have any real depth, that is….

  • Karen

    Dear 23 year old writer gold digger:

    I’m a woman, 38, two marriages, two kids. Let me give you a little piece of advice: PLEASE do not marry for money. That is going to be the biggest mistake of your entire life. Do yourself a favor and get a master’s degree, get your own 6 figure job and THEN marry someone you LOVE. Gucci purses don’t bring you happiness honey. A millionaire husband won’t make you happy. He will never be home, he will never respect you and his family will hate you. So…..re-think your life.

  • Anonymous

    This is why every man with a good job needs a pre-nup

    • Hammondeggs

      Yep, just ask Paul McCartney.  What did that D cost him, $52,000,000 or something like that? 

  • 3Braincells

    The most sincere women in the world is a hooker.  The rest are just hookers who play the “game” 

  • Alyssa C Weber

    This sounds like a typical woman that is just looking for another “daddy” to pay for everything once her real father cuts her off. Someone that has never stressed about money or had to work to support herself. I understand why she wouldn’t want to stress about money, it sucks. But if she never has to work to her butt off to support herself, she will not know what to do when this hypothetical rich man leaves her later in life for a younger, hotter gold digger. If he has any intelligence, he’s going to make her sign a prenup. And then what? Her and her family that she prioritized ahead of her career are screwed. Everyone in this life is just looking out for themselves, and by choosing to prioritize finding someone else to support you, rather than supporting yourself, you are not looking out for anyone.

  • Logicalnpassionate

    Get real! If you want a lot of money, make it yourself. Have you no self-esteem or self-respect? 

  • Anonymous

    What the hell is ‘homesteading’? Is this just a way to glamorize picking up dirty laundry? As a homesteader, do I parade around in a fancy apron with my laptop open to my new blog — ‘Innovative Kitchens.’ Am I supposed to be some kind of Stay-at-home guru?

    Emilia, my darling DARLING girl.. many  women would love to marry rich. It’s because it means we could sit around all day while someone else did the work. Where is the feminism in that, though? You’re not a feminist.

  • Shani

    Once upon a time, I only cared about love and who a person was, not money. Until I went out with a guy who couldn’t even invite me out to dinner. I paid for things for him! That’s when a friend told me that a man must have enough money to have dignity, and take you out to dinner once in a while. Old-fashioned, but I think it’s true. I would no longer consider a guy who had absolutely no money. So you’ve got a point.

    However, I would call the ‘rich’ qualification necessary but not sufficient (my ‘rich’ surely being much poorer than yours!). I hope you find a lovely man who loves you very much within your pool of rich guys. Nothing wrong with defining your pool of candidates – good luck!

  • http://twitter.com/DevilRejected Cory D McDonald

    Your a gold digger, you don’t care about feelings, love or care the man will dedicate to you. You just want his money and its sickening that women like you exist to just be a leech while avoiding to contribute to society by working.

  • Nillerz

    Ha! You think you deserve a guy who makes 300,000 dollars a year and over a million in held investments? What makes you think that sort of guy wants anything to do with you?

    You’re either going to learn to take what you deserve or you’re going to die alone. Rich people are rich because they’re not stupid. Only a retard would get with someone like you.

  • J L

    What is most appalling about many of these comments is the continued effort to determine a woman’s value by her looks and age. This is a problem that many feminists seek to address. The author of the article is not looking to buy or sell anything, as many comments below imply. She is looking for a relationship which maximizes benefits for both partners and results in a happy, comfortable, safe home. I happen to know a number of successful young men, none in NY though, who are looking for a woman just like her. They recognize that the support they need for their careers to flourish is significant, and they acknowledge their desire for a loving wife, children and happy home. The men described in the comments below are clearly not marriage material anyway and I hope this young author never has to deal with them.
    .

  • Shana Borenstein

    It takes two to tango. At this point in my life (I’m 31 and fairly attractive, hwp, smart, and charming, with no kids) I would not get seriously involved with a man who wasn’t pretty well off. My standards for income/assets are lower than hers- about 100k/yr, home ownership, and good future prospects- and I have not had trouble finding men who fit my criteria and want to support me.

    “Gold digging” would not be an option if no one wanted to be “gold dug”. “Sugar babies” could not exist without willing “daddies”. There are plenty of men out there who WANT to provide for a woman who fits their own criteria. Most women are not looking for this, at least not in as extreme a form as the author and I are, for any number of reasons. But if you are an attractive woman (not just physically- there is more than looks required to hold a man’s attention) and willing to overlook a few flaws that could be deal-breakers for someone less materially motivated (less than perfect social skills, looks, sexual chemistry/performance, etc) there are men who will be GRATEFUL for the opportunity to provide for you.

    There are as many possible kinds of relationship as there are combinations of people. If she finds a rich man who wants to support her, good for both of them. Why should anyone be bothered by this?