Old-Fashioned Homesteading Is the New Feminist Career

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Money MicFollowing the great debate and controversy sparked by our Money Mic about whether the CARD Act hurts women, we bring you another Money Mic essay on a controversial or thought-provoking topic.

The views expressed here are those of the essayist and not the LearnVest staff, but we look forward to opening the floor to debate and discussion, so tell us what you think.

Today, Shannon Hayes, author of Radical Homemakers, tells us about what it means to be a homesteader—like a stay-at-home mom of the Little House on the Prairie generation—and why she feels it gives her more independence than ever before.

When I eschewed a conventional career path, it wasn’t because I didn’t care about dollars and cents.

To the contrary: From the time I could multiply and divide, my grandfather taught me all about concepts like compound interest and the rule of 72. By the time I was old enough to legally drink, I’d started my own investment portfolio, studied amortization tables in my downtime and argued my way into a full assistanceship for grad school by explaining to my professors that borrowing money for a graduate degree would essentially result in diminishing marginal returns on my total educational investment.

The “independence” of careers isn’t independence at all. It requires couples to uproot themselves from their community support networks and to take on excessive expenses for housing, childcare and education.

My Decision to Become a Homesteader Was About Money

My decision to stop interviewing for jobs and help out on my family’s farm was just as much about money as it was about following my heart. As I scrutinized the salary and benefits of my most attractive job opportunity—one where both my husband and I could be employed—I ran the numbers. With my potential salary, we could move away from our rustic (cheap-to-keep) cabin and family farm, get a new house and own two cars to get to work. I then subtracted commuting costs, mortgage payments, professional wardrobes, taxes and the costs of buying rather than producing our own food from our gross potential income.

While the initial income looked big, once all those expenses were removed, the final number was
only $10,000 more than what we could generate if we stayed home. We hadn’t started a family yet, so we didn’t figure in childcare or education costs—but those would surely tip the scales. It was a bit of a shock. Part of me had really wanted the validation that comes with a professional title. I wanted to ride on the coattails of my mother’s generation, to take advantage of my right to work and have it all. But having it all proved to be a myth. It made more financial sense to work on the family farm.

Why the “Independence” of a Career Isn’t Really Independence

The “independence” of his-and-her careers isn’t independence at all. It means increased reliance on an external employer who typically requires couples to uproot themselves from support networks in their home communities and to take on excessive expenses for housing, childcare and education. Yes, each partner has his or her own independent source of money. But the increased cost of living makes them doubly dependent on external employers who don’t share the same legal responsibilities to employees as marital partners do to each other.

I studied this issue in earnest from 2007 to 2010. Many of my peers in the workforce suffered during the subprime mortgage crisis, but my husband and I slowly inched ahead (despite our comparatively low income). There were several factors:

  1. We were living the life we dreamed about together: deep in lush, green hills and forests with no alarm clock, punch card or commuter traffic to take away from our daily bliss. This reduced many of the conventional strains on our marriage.
  2. As homesteaders, we operated our home on a different set of rules. In conventional American culture, the household is a unit of consumption. It consumes things like food, clothing, electricity, entertainment, education and more. In order to do so, the household must have money. Instead, our household became a unit of production. We have been able to produce most of our own food, electricity (solar), entertainment and a lot of our own health care and education. Many of our other needs are met through barter and exchange with family and community members. We don’t think it’s truly possible to produce everything we need, so we’ve simply increased our self-reliance to the point that we produce more than we consume, freeing us to live according to our earth-centered values.

No Matter Where You Live …

True, coming from a family farm, we’re in the minority. But I’ve traversed the country and interviewed numerous radicals who have been able to thrive on a single income or less by following the simple premise of producing more than they consume –in the city, in the country and in the suburbs.

The Breadwinning Woman

Does breaking with tradition affect relationships?
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Sometimes the woman works and the man stays home. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Many start by growing a few tomatoes and taking care of their kids instead of paying for daycare … and wind up with extensive gardens, food preservation skills and innovative eco-friendly home businesses that provide financial independence and creative challenges. I’ve seen the lifestyle succeed with everyone from married couples to single moms, from 20-somethings to 70-somethings.

This way of life doesn’t look anything like the now-conventional dual-career American household—the clothes are more tattered and the fingernails are dirtier. But the smiles are more frequent, and the happiness is enduring.

Further Reading

Is An At-Home Mom The Only Real Mom? Study Says Otherwise

Turning Stay-At-Home Into A Work Status

Shannon Hayes

Shannon Hayes writes and works with her family on Sap Bush Hollow Farm in upstate New York. She is the author of Radical Homemakers, The Farmer and the Grill and The Grassfed Gourmet Cookbook.  To learn more about the radical homemaking lifestyle, visit radicalhomemakers.com, or follow Hayes’ blog at Yes! Magazine.

  • Elizabeth Bartlett

    Thank you LearnVest, for this post!  I’ve recently realized the psychological effect consumerism has had on me throughout my life – and have taken up battling it.  While I just started my first garden this year (very small scale), and have been making a few of my own clothes, I hope to one day tip the scales to where I am producing more than I’m consuming.  I’m so glad to see homesteading included in a discussion about finances. 

  • Anonymous

    Makes sense to me! I really appreciate your pointing out the true cost of a career. Too many people stick around in jobs just because they are afraid of giving up the income, not considering how many of the expenses they’d also get to give up. Even things like vacations can go away when you’re living a simple life without the added stress of commutes, someone else’s agenda and crazy deadlines. When you remove all that, what is there to vacate?

    Above all for me, it’s about doing what makes YOU feel healthy, happy, fulfilled and productive. For my friends who choose careers and daycare, the financial “loss” is worth it to them, after much examination of their preferences, personalities and values. To each their own, I say…

  • Spexylady

    I love this story! This is an entrepreneur in the purest sense of the word, and I applaud you for making a case for producing more than you consume! Good on ya!

  • http://www.smartmouthblog.com Nicole Longstreath

    Great story, very inspiring. I admire your ability to be an independent homesteader and I agree that having a regular job is not independence. However, it really does take a “radical” to transition one’s life from the consumerist-day-job-worker – especially if a spouse or partner is involved.

    I would love to hear from people who didn’t start on the farm, but instead transitioned from the rat race to homestead life.

    http:www.smartmouthblog.com

    • Karen Keb

      I love this article and Shannon’s book Radical Homemakers, which is what I now consider myself. I did transition from a big rat-race job as an editor in chief of a magazine group, now I am a happy homesteader, freelance writer, photographer, and blogger. I have a farm-based bakery business, and my husband and I sell many of our farm products. As far as the transition period goes, it took me a year or so to get over the fact that I no longer had the “prestige” of a professional title and get used to being home alone, rather than in an office filled with people. I am now more grateful than ever of my switch in lifestyle and confident in my decision to NOT LOOK FOR A JOB outside the home, but within it.

    • Karen Keb

      I love this article and Shannon’s book Radical Homemakers, which is what I now consider myself. I did transition from a big rat-race job as an editor in chief of a magazine group, now I am a happy homesteader, freelance writer, photographer, and blogger. I have a farm-based bakery business, and my husband and I sell many of our farm products. As far as the transition period goes, it took me a year or so to get over the fact that I no longer had the “prestige” of a professional title and get used to being home alone, rather than in an office filled with people. I am now more grateful than ever of my switch in lifestyle and confident in my decision to NOT LOOK FOR A JOB outside the home, but within it.

  • http://www.smartmouthblog.com Nicole Longstreath

    Great story, very inspiring. I admire your ability to be an independent homesteader and I agree that having a regular job is not independence. However, it really does take a “radical” to transition one’s life from the consumerist-day-job-worker – especially if a spouse or partner is involved.

    I would love to hear from people who didn’t start on the farm, but instead transitioned from the rat race to homestead life.

    http:www.smartmouthblog.com

  • Laura Smoliar

    Great story.  It reminded me of Sandy Lerner (Cisco Founder) and her Ayrshire Farm (http://store.ayrshirefarm.com/).  If you watch the film Something Ventured (http://somethingventuredthemovie.com/), and put it together with your article, it all makes sense…

  • Laura Smoliar

    Great story.  It reminded me of Sandy Lerner (Cisco Founder) and her Ayrshire Farm (http://store.ayrshirefarm.com/).  If you watch the film Something Ventured (http://somethingventuredthemovie.com/), and put it together with your article, it all makes sense…

  • Schmidt Katrina

    This is my dream!  And it’s SO good to hear it being promoted and supported as a perfectly logical and acceptable option!  I feel like the negative side of the feminist revolution is that many women (myself included) feel like they HAVE to have a job/career in order to be worth something in this life, but it’s such a lie.  Taking good care of a home and a family is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs I can think of, and it is so nice to see that validated on a professional website like LearnVest. 

    Now I just need to find a husband who wants to live on a farm… :-)

  • Schmidt Katrina

    This is my dream!  And it’s SO good to hear it being promoted and supported as a perfectly logical and acceptable option!  I feel like the negative side of the feminist revolution is that many women (myself included) feel like they HAVE to have a job/career in order to be worth something in this life, but it’s such a lie.  Taking good care of a home and a family is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs I can think of, and it is so nice to see that validated on a professional website like LearnVest. 

    Now I just need to find a husband who wants to live on a farm… :-)

  • Schmidt Katrina

    This is my dream!  And it’s SO good to hear it being promoted and supported as a perfectly logical and acceptable option!  I feel like the negative side of the feminist revolution is that many women (myself included) feel like they HAVE to have a job/career in order to be worth something in this life, but it’s such a lie.  Taking good care of a home and a family is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs I can think of, and it is so nice to see that validated on a professional website like LearnVest. 

    Now I just need to find a husband who wants to live on a farm… :-)

  • http://neatfreakwannabe.blogspot.com Jenna

    Great article!  I admire Shannon’s thoughtful decision that it made more sense for her family to be homesteaders, rather than blindly following the pack.  Too many of us (myself included) are guilty of being on auto-pilot too much of the time and not making enough conscious decisions about what we really want out of life and what is the best way to get there.

  • http://readlikeagirl.com Kathryn

    I love this story–and LearnVest’s take on it.  True feminism is not about pushing women into roles traditionally held by men; it’s about giving women the freedom to be who they truly are/want to be.  Sometimes that means filling a social space traditionally occupied by men (e.g., by being a CEO, legislator, or doctor), and sometimes it doesn’t.  I’m really happy for Shannon and her family, that they find fulfillment in what they do.

  • Marci357

    This is really not something new – the older generation did NOT all go to work as dual income families… many of us stayed home and did what is called “homesteading” now, but we just called it plain old survival back then… lol…   It did not figure out when child care was figured in at all… nor the loss of time from family, and the ability to produce food and clothing and take care of things without having to hire help.

    At 57 and single now, helping raise grandkids for my single daughter going to college, I still find it easy to get along on one tiny little part time salary. I live on about $800 month take home – and live very well….(no government subsidies either….)  The ONLY reason I work parttime is for the full time fully paid Health insurance… Hard to turn that down.

    I think a lot of couples need that health insurance – and that is why so often two are working.

    My grandkids are learning to cook, sew, garden, can, clean clams, process game meat, dehydrate foods, and cook from scratch.   It’s the only way THEY are going to be able to survive in this wild world we live in. 

    The kindest thing we can pass on to our grandkids are these traditions of being a producer and not a consumer, to pass on the survival traditions. 

  • Marci357

    This is really not something new – the older generation did NOT all go to work as dual income families… many of us stayed home and did what is called “homesteading” now, but we just called it plain old survival back then… lol…   It did not figure out when child care was figured in at all… nor the loss of time from family, and the ability to produce food and clothing and take care of things without having to hire help.

    At 57 and single now, helping raise grandkids for my single daughter going to college, I still find it easy to get along on one tiny little part time salary. I live on about $800 month take home – and live very well….(no government subsidies either….)  The ONLY reason I work parttime is for the full time fully paid Health insurance… Hard to turn that down.

    I think a lot of couples need that health insurance – and that is why so often two are working.

    My grandkids are learning to cook, sew, garden, can, clean clams, process game meat, dehydrate foods, and cook from scratch.   It’s the only way THEY are going to be able to survive in this wild world we live in. 

    The kindest thing we can pass on to our grandkids are these traditions of being a producer and not a consumer, to pass on the survival traditions. 

  • Susan Buniva

    This is a great article with many very important thoughts but the one factor not considered is what happens in the advent of possible divorce down the road.  While one of us want to consider this as a possibility, as a Collaborative Law Divorce Coach, I will tell you that the statistics about divorce suggest otherwise and decisions to be a stay at home mom do have significant consequences on divorce settlements.

  • Susan Buniva

    This is a great article with many very important thoughts but the one factor not considered is what happens in the advent of possible divorce down the road.  While one of us want to consider this as a possibility, as a Collaborative Law Divorce Coach, I will tell you that the statistics about divorce suggest otherwise and decisions to be a stay at home mom do have significant consequences on divorce settlements.

  • Mary

    I really enjoyed this article. My husband and I have been married a little over a year. About 8 months ago we were equal bread winners, but my job was particularly demanding and it was putting a strain on our newlywed relationship. We ran the numbers and realized that we could, in fact, survive on one income if we made the effort to cut our expenses. During this time I took an interest in gardening, canning, and making breads. We live in a city but we’ve still been able to grow and preserve a lot of the food we eat. It has been a wonderful experience so far and it has freed up a lot of time for me to focus on new passions, like urban farming and freelancing.

  • Rachel

    I’m confused. What part of this article, exactly, was supposed to be controversial?

    • Isabelle

      Right?

      And the “new feminist”?

  • Christinetrudell

    Loved this! This city girls’ dream life.

  • Christinetrudell

    Loved this! This city girls’ dream life.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nancy-Oliver/100000019953761 Nancy Oliver

    I don’t see this as “controversial” at all. True feminism has always been about CHOICE. I’m older so I’ve seen the changes. The right to choose to work outside the home (been doing that for decades) or staying home (did that briefly too). $$$ choices are the same- you can choose to buy a big home in the city, buy the new, high-end clothes for the corporate job OR buy a small house, live more simply, choose a more flexible job, wear thrift store clothes, garden, can, etc. I’d love to live in a rural area, but my hubby likes his job too much. I think this could be a REAL problem for women later down the road, especially in a divorce, or rural business failure. You’d need to be prepared. See a good lawyer, ahead of time, protect yourself, document ALL your work, etc. You never know what could happen- husband dies, other family members try to take over, or the bank goes after you (unless you own your place outright) and it’s all over…

  • Sallie

    I believe we need to start teaching our young women in Junior High to conduct a detailed cost-benefit analysis of their future careers.  I think it would help many of them avoid the expensive (and exhausting) fairy tale of “having it all.”  Feminism has always been about choice and taking responsibilty for those choices – so lets give the next generation the tools & guidance to make smart ones.

    As my wonderful aunt pointed out to me a few years back – “You can have it all – just not all at the same time!”  Once I took her words to heart and changed my life decisions to reflect them, my stress levels (along with those of my family) have decreased dramatically and my contentment has increased.

  • Sallie

    I believe we need to start teaching our young women in Junior High to conduct a detailed cost-benefit analysis of their future careers.  I think it would help many of them avoid the expensive (and exhausting) fairy tale of “having it all.”  Feminism has always been about choice and taking responsibilty for those choices – so lets give the next generation the tools & guidance to make smart ones.

    As my wonderful aunt pointed out to me a few years back – “You can have it all – just not all at the same time!”  Once I took her words to heart and changed my life decisions to reflect them, my stress levels (along with those of my family) have decreased dramatically and my contentment has increased.

    • LouiseVW

      I love your aunt’s comment… she is soooooo right!

  • Sallie

    I believe we need to start teaching our young women in Junior High to conduct a detailed cost-benefit analysis of their future careers.  I think it would help many of them avoid the expensive (and exhausting) fairy tale of “having it all.”  Feminism has always been about choice and taking responsibilty for those choices – so lets give the next generation the tools & guidance to make smart ones.

    As my wonderful aunt pointed out to me a few years back – “You can have it all – just not all at the same time!”  Once I took her words to heart and changed my life decisions to reflect them, my stress levels (along with those of my family) have decreased dramatically and my contentment has increased.

  • Sallie

    I believe we need to start teaching our young women in Junior High to conduct a detailed cost-benefit analysis of their future careers.  I think it would help many of them avoid the expensive (and exhausting) fairy tale of “having it all.”  Feminism has always been about choice and taking responsibilty for those choices – so lets give the next generation the tools & guidance to make smart ones.

    As my wonderful aunt pointed out to me a few years back – “You can have it all – just not all at the same time!”  Once I took her words to heart and changed my life decisions to reflect them, my stress levels (along with those of my family) have decreased dramatically and my contentment has increased.

  • Sallie

    I believe we need to start teaching our young women in Junior High to conduct a detailed cost-benefit analysis of their future careers.  I think it would help many of them avoid the expensive (and exhausting) fairy tale of “having it all.”  Feminism has always been about choice and taking responsibilty for those choices – so lets give the next generation the tools & guidance to make smart ones.

    As my wonderful aunt pointed out to me a few years back – “You can have it all – just not all at the same time!”  Once I took her words to heart and changed my life decisions to reflect them, my stress levels (along with those of my family) have decreased dramatically and my contentment has increased.

  • LouiseVW

    I enjoyed this article very much although the phrase ‘ I wanted to ride on the coattails of my mother’s generation, to take advantage of my right to work and have it all’  gave me pause.I always wonder about how the message has become skewed in the part decades.  Feminism isn’t about the right to work, it is about the right to choose what you wish to do with your life. If your choice is to be a CEO, good for you, and if your choice is to be a homemaker, good for you. I agree with Sallie when she says that Feminism is about choice and taking responsibility for those choices… We, as women, and the men in our lives, need to encourage one another to make the choice that works for us. I am now a disaster relief worker earning peanuts after giving up a high paying corporate job, I felt the need to help was more important to me than having  a lot of money. When I made that decision, 20 years ago, my father freaked out saying that I was wasting a great education, but my husband supported my choice totally. Yes, Dad, I am a feminist and always will be! 

  • MarianB

    I love this article. I have been home for years..but the economy is catching up with us very fast. I have been considering “going back” to work…but with 2 kids still in school, one starting high school and my youngest is going to the first grade..it seems the wrong time to go. My biggest worry is healthcare. We pay for our own. We took a downgrade with our HMO a year ago, but we are back to where we were before (paymentwise).. the costs keep rising. I would be interested to know how everyone copes with this dilema.

  • ALM

    This article is very interesting and I admire her not only for choosing what she wanted to do with her life, but also laying out the financial pros and cons of ‘homesteading’.  However this is not the first article or mention I’ve heard of being a stay-at-home mom or eco-friendly and practical.  I’m starting to notice a definite trend towards this kind of thing (not that it’s anything new) but I feel that I’m starting to get over-saturated with this kind of mantra.  While I see the value in home gardening, organic foods, sewing & crafting, and being able to spend more time with one’s children, I’d like to point out that it’s not for everyone.  I’m happy to see that many are commenting on how feminism is about a woman’s choice to do what she wants with her life whether that be a career or ‘homesteading’.  I agree.  I also feel the need to point out that not every couple can afford go the homesteading route, depending on career choices and cost of living in one’s area.  I’m currently getting my Ph.D. in molecular biology and I’ve been working most of my life towards being a scientist.  While all of the values mentioned above are of concern to me, I’m certainly not going to put aside my goals and dreams for a while to do the homesteading thing.  At this point in my career science/academia is not very forgiving if you want to quit and then try to pick up your career again later.  Also, having very small incomes in the very expensive urban Northeast while dealing with the reality of the cost of health care and child care up here can seriously limit one’s options, not to mention lifestyle when contemplating living on only one income. 
    I know many friends who could and would happily do so either because one income is quite enough to sustain them or because they are already quite anti-technology and revel in the ‘dirt under the nails’ or both of these things are true.  However, this is certainly not me and I should hope that those in either career/life choice would not pressure or guilt the other about their choices. 

    • MahtaMouse

      After decades of being told that all SAHMs are ”lazy” and “dull”, not to mention “boring”; it’s nice to finally begin to see a balanced view forming on the horrizon. I’ve been both a working mom & a sahm and believe me, I’ve found it much more interesting and full-filling to be home raising my kids… I cook and bake from scratch, sew, painted the house inside & out, raise vegetables & fruit, canned and even raised chickens; all while my friends go to work, punch a time card, and come home with fast food bags so they can run their kids to after-school sports. This is their choice and if it makes them happy, fine; but please don’t tell me my life is boring!

      As a young widow, all these skills are now helping me to survive on a poverty level income. I know how to do without, find needed home repair & home improvement items on CraigsList & Freecycle for free. I drive a 25yr old car in excellent condition, and these days rent out my spare bedroom as well. And, in these economic times, I’m not stressing about loosing my job.

  • Winegirl

    After 35 years in the workforce, I am gearing towards homesteading. We started with a small organic herb garden last year, added a greenhouse and this year was able to sell at the farmers markets. We still can’t replace my salary, but we’re headed there. HAPPILY!

  • Mylesd

    Love it and living it.  How it started?  After a terrible divorce I had 3 little children, no income and no child support, I made major cutbacks.  Moved to a smaller house, cancelled the cell phone and satellite, bought a used car that I owned outright.  Less really is more.

    6 years later and I still own my car, have only 5 tv channels, and refuse to get a cell phone.  I grow my own food and preserve it.  I knit winter accessories and socks and I’m currently learning to use a sewing machine.  I love to purchase used sheets and tablecloths and make pajamas for my family.  

    I still work part-time to pay basic utilities but I am working towards total self-dependence.

  • http://store.aquarianbath.com Cory Trusty

    I’m really happy to hear your put it this way!  I am a mini urban homesteader who has a small business rather than working in the science field I was trained in professionally.  Working for yourself and growing your own food is very rewarding.  The best advice I can give is grow the food that is easy to grow in your area and encourage wild edible plants.  I grow a lot of pumpkins and they just come back on their own every year.  Chickens are really easy to start with too on the animal side of things.  

  • MrsPitcher

    LOVE IT!  I am a HOUSEWIFE!  I’m not a stay at home mom, nor “homesteader”  Homesteading to my mind a covered wagon, giving birth on the prairie and folks dropping of cholera.  Women need to realize that if you work, then somebody else is raising your kids and although you may be making money, it’s generally going to child care and parenting skills tend to suffer. I was a single working mom before I became a happily married housewife and mother of two.  Being “just” a housewife is the most important job on this planet.  My kids are more important to me than any paycheck.  Although I don’t work, I contribute by living frugally so that nobody goes without anything on my husbands sole paycheck.

  • jacquelinelp

    Well I have to say I chose to be a SAHM/HOUSEWIFE and would NEVER regret my decision me and my husband have been together for 15 years now and our oldest son is 14 and youngest daughter is 9 both of our children are on the spectrum(ADD) our eldest has autistic traits and me leaving him at any time is just extremely stressful for him even at the age of 14 he still asks where I’m at if I happen to go out somewhere me and my children are extremely close as well as me and my husband and we wouldn’t want it any other way I am indeed attached to them as they are with me and I wouldn’t change that for anything in this world! As a responsible parent if I chose to ONLY share the GOOD times with my children what would they learn concerning real life and how would they learn to deal with problems?? I cherish the good times as well as the bad with my family that’s what unconditional love is all about. So many parents are so worried about money money money that they lack and miss teaching that child about real life and that you don’t always get what you want in life. I see so many parents covering up for their absence in their child’s life by over-indulging their children with materialistic things to me that’s not love at all. Its merely a token of your absence and that will never be good enough for these children, they will always feel as if their not good enough. I do have passions and do exercise them in my spare time me feeling independent is based on the ability to make my own decisions and when I want to not having someone else telling me to, I am very Independent always have been. I don’t mind being alone its in that time that I meditate and learn the most about myself and life.  My husband knew very early on in our partnership that I wanted to stay home if we ever chose to have children. I am very active in our community, our family is VERY active in our community, every one knows us and we are very engaged in our children’s school activities I couldn’t ponder the mere fact of something happening to either one of my children and me having to tell them that I cannot leave from work to me that’s not an option(now if your self employed that’s different). My husband sees the benefits to me staying at home and he is a very well satisfied man inside the home and out I have more energy due to staying at home I love my alone time. I actually prefer my solitude oppose to commuting back and forth to a job where at times its only benefiting the employer and most times not the employee. I am by nature a self-learner. I cannot handle the mere fact of someone else raising my children. Money is not and NEVER will be my motivating factor is choosing to go to work, my children’s mental, physical and emotional health are much more important then simply bringing a paycheck home. I feel strongly that a woman’s job is in the home just as Jesus states very clearly in the Bible. I actually prefer the terms “I am a virtuous woman” I am a self starter. I work better independently and when what I’m doing is related to what I’m passionate about. I’d like to clarify that just because a woman stays home doesn’t mean that she’s not independent! I have a 4.0 in college and have had schooling in fields of my interests. A degree on a wall will NEVER equate a person’s common sense to life’s experiences without that whatever you do will deem not to be successful. That concludes my take on this matter. Good day!

  • jacquelinelp

    Part 2 of my answer: My husband is a god fearing man so me staying home is not an issue in our marriage, He understands that I’m here for God’s purpose and not my own, see when a woman takes a non-god fearing man into her heart staying home will be an issue or that man is just pure lazy! My husband has been providing for me and my son way before we were even married, I wouldn’t have married him if he didn’t have a personal relationship with our heavenly father not even an option in my book. That comes first before all others. A God fearing man knows what his place is in his families life and what his responsibilities are as a man and he wants to please God before himself. When man and woman forget where they came from and fail to please God divorce is inevitable, when husband and wife put God first in that marriage they are ONE and nothing can break that bond, what God has put together let NO MAN tear apart! See what some fail to realize is that “HOMESTEADING” is just another word for “VIRTUOUS WOMAN” a god fearing woman a woman who’s main purpose in life is pleasing God and God alone. This woman understands that her most important place is at home and that’s what pleases God, man was meant to work and provide and that’s why this world is so messed up is due to all forgetting where they came from and forgetting what God wants not what we want. That’s what happens when sin comes into play in ones life they are unable to do God’s work or follow His way. Women were NOT made to do hard/physical labor they never have and never will succeed at it because its not what we were meant to do. Men were meant to provide for their families so that the woman DOESN’T have to work. What is this world coming to??????? Each and every one of us needs to get back to our root which is GOD.

    • Elle

      I am an atheist and I could not read your comment, because it all sounds like fairy tales to me. It is particularly easy to ignore when you start preaching.  Enjoy your life, but please realize that not everyone believes in God, or in the way that you do, so try and keep these comments to yourself, you sound irrational.