Money Mic: Why Cohabitation Will Help Your Finances

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

It seems that a lot of the anecdotes are short term and temporary results. These could easily be achieved by moving in with friends or living with parents or family while you pay down debt. As someone who works in a law firm specializing in bankruptcies and credit matters, I see daily the consequences of assuming that cohabitation is the best method. It simply does not offer legal protection in the same way that marriage does.

This article presupposes that your cohabiting partner is financially responsible – but what if he isn’t? Will you then be responsible for taking care of his financial mess. Or if you enter into a binding legal contract with him, like a mortgage, who will be left to pay the bills once the relationship ends?

I find myself as a daily witness of the trouble that cohabitation creates when two people don’t fully think through all the nuances of what it means to not have a binding commitment and yet still act married. Sorry but this article doesn’t convince me.

I have been living with my fiance for a year now. We have had our rough patches as any couple does, but it’s overall been great. I don’t have a job at the moment, and he works in the construction type of job. We do fairly well, and we’re both happy with being together. I think that we can make it work out for us if we keep going the way we are going, and I think that we’ll be good in the future too.

I have been living with my fiance for a year now. We have had our rough patches as any couple does, but it’s overall been great. I don’t have a job at the moment, and he works in the construction type of job. We do fairly well, and we’re both happy with being together. I think that we can make it work out for us if we keep going the way we are going, and I think that we’ll be good in the future too.

I think it absolutely depends on the people involved. A former boyfriend and I moved in together when we were 24 and only dating for 6 months (it was a move of convenience; we both happened to be looking for new apartments at the same time so we figured, hey, let’s save some cash!). It was a completely awful situation. He wound up being completely irresponsible and unwilling to contribute anything to the household, always with some excuse as to why he couldn’t get his half of the bills each month. I was a full-time student, and wound up having to shoulder the vast majority of the expenses on my student loan and part-time job money, as well as having to borrow from my parents. It wound up costing me a TON of money, as I had to take out extra student loans to support the both of us. It tore us apart, as I was angry and resented his behavior, and was just a horrible, ugly situation for over two years.

On the other hand, I’m now 28 I moved in with my current boyfriend this spring after living on my own for two and a half years. It was a fantastic decision. We’re both mature, responsible, ambitious people, and we’re each saving a lot of money through living together. Not only are we able to put the money we’re saving each month into a “future home down payment” savings (and using it to pay off our credit cards), but the experience has brought us closer together than ever. We’re planning for our future together in what is a very financially and emotionally strengthening way.

The moral of the story is, in my opinion, it’s imperative that you really, truly know the person and their financial habits before moving in together. It can be a great move with the right person, or a total disaster with the wrong one.

I think it absolutely depends on the people involved. A former boyfriend and I moved in together when we were 24 and only dating for 6 months (it was a move of convenience; we both happened to be looking for new apartments at the same time so we figured, hey, let’s save some cash!). It was a completely awful situation. He wound up being completely irresponsible and unwilling to contribute anything to the household, always with some excuse as to why he couldn’t get his half of the bills each month. I was a full-time student, and wound up having to shoulder the vast majority of the expenses on my student loan and part-time job money, as well as having to borrow from my parents. It wound up costing me a TON of money, as I had to take out extra student loans to support the both of us. It tore us apart, as I was angry and resented his behavior, and was just a horrible, ugly situation for over two years.

On the other hand, I’m now 28 I moved in with my current boyfriend this spring after living on my own for two and a half years. It was a fantastic decision. We’re both mature, responsible, ambitious people, and we’re each saving a lot of money through living together. Not only are we able to put the money we’re saving each month into a “future home down payment” savings (and using it to pay off our credit cards), but the experience has brought us closer together than ever. We’re planning for our future together in what is a very financially and emotionally strengthening way.

The moral of the story is, in my opinion, it’s imperative that you really, truly know the person and their financial habits before moving in together. It can be a great move with the right person, or a total disaster with the wrong one.

Living together was a great way for me to learn that my boyfriend was a lot less responsible than he thought he was, despite the fact he earns twice as much as me. Sure, I’m saving money, but I would say don’t do it unless you have the means to get back out at any time. Keep your money separate, and don’t sign anything together. 

Living together was a great way for me to learn that my boyfriend was a lot less responsible than he thought he was, despite the fact he earns twice as much as me. Sure, I’m saving money, but I would say don’t do it unless you have the means to get back out at any time. Keep your money separate, and don’t sign anything together. 

I couldn’t agree more.  If you’re both in a place where you’re mature and talk openly about expenses and expectations, it can be a great experience.  They key is for BOTH of you to be at that place; one bad apple can spoil the bunch.

I couldn’t agree more.  If you’re both in a place where you’re mature and talk openly about expenses and expectations, it can be a great experience.  They key is for BOTH of you to be at that place; one bad apple can spoil the bunch.

I couldn’t agree more.  If you’re both in a place where you’re mature and talk openly about expenses and expectations, it can be a great experience.  They key is for BOTH of you to be at that place; one bad apple can spoil the bunch.

ShionA is absolutely right, don’t combine your finances if you live
together, and don’t move in together if it will make you dependent on
him financially. You have to protect yourself. I’ve never lived with a boyfriend, but I’ve always been able to discern what their money habits were like anyway. You learn a lot from dating someone, talking to him about money and goals, seeing what he spends money on, etc. From my friends’ and family members’ experiences, I’ve not yet seen living together end in marriage, although perhaps that wasn’t always their goal (and certainly, my personal anecdote does not equal proof!). Perhaps it helped them financially even though they all eventually split up and moved out.

ShionA is absolutely right, don’t combine your finances if you live
together, and don’t move in together if it will make you dependent on
him financially. You have to protect yourself. I’ve never lived with a boyfriend, but I’ve always been able to discern what their money habits were like anyway. You learn a lot from dating someone, talking to him about money and goals, seeing what he spends money on, etc. From my friends’ and family members’ experiences, I’ve not yet seen living together end in marriage, although perhaps that wasn’t always their goal (and certainly, my personal anecdote does not equal proof!). Perhaps it helped them financially even though they all eventually split up and moved out.

I guess if you’re already sleeping together, living together isn’t different morally. But let’s back up a step. God’s guidelines are “for our good always.” (Deuteronomy 6:24)  Devaluing yourself by allowing physical intimacy outside of marriage has permanent emotional consequences that outweigh any temporary financial benefit.

I think the situations you may see may not necessarily be caused by cohabitation. People who make financially poor decisions will end up in similar positions regardless of their marriage status. Married couples who divorce run in to the same issues when purchasing a house; I know this first hand. Cohabitation with, and marriage to, someone who is not financially responsible has the same damaging effects. Plenty of couples don’t think through what it means to have a “binding commitment” and ARE married. I think you may be incorporating a little moral belief in to your financial view of cohabitation.

I definitely would have to agree with this article. After living with a friend for two years, which does not really offer the same financial benefits as cohabitation, and living with my boyfriend for over a year, I can see the positive outcomes: I have been able to stop using my credit cards altogether because I am no longer driving to meet him, we are no longer dining out most nights of the week because we do not have the privacy or comfort to eat in, and we are not feeling the need to “get away” and go on vacations as much. Through living with my boyfriend, we’ve established a sliding scale rent rate, where he pays more than I do since he makes more than I do. We are better able to save for, plan and understand our futures because we have to work together and help each other. I don’t know about others, but living with a friend did not allow me to do any of this. I basically just hoped she had enough money in her account for her half of the rent and then went out with my boyfriend.

Not everyone is Christian, and not everyone cares about what the Bible espouses as being ‘God’s guidelines’. Please keep your religious views to yourself- this is a discussion on finance, not the morality of cohabitation.

To be honest, who cares what a book says?  I lived with my husband for 11 years before we married.  We have been together longer and have a healthier relationship than most other Christians I know.  We have seen multiple divorced from couples who did things the ‘bible way’.  The bible is outdated and meant for individuals in the middle ages.  Most of the ideas are just out dated. 

Either way, this is a financial discussion, not a religious. 

Agreed. IT is always good to keep your finances separate, even when you are married.

Me and my boyfriend moved in together more than 4 years ago.  We are still together and are not married.  I would say that this has helped us financially, but that was not the motive for living together.

Everyone needs a learning curve, and some only learn by doing.  It is important to keep things in writing.  If you own a condo/house,  and get married,  before the ink is dry on the marriage cert.  have the “non-owner” sign and nortarize a “Quite claim agreement”  even with a pre nup. Even if your friends think you’re tacky,  have the “non – owner” pay “rent” monthly. Documented by checks.  Yes,  it will be considered “income” to you, but it keeps the value clear on your property. And the “non-owner” has a record also for taxes, etc.  Like Maggie says,  a person who makes poor financial choices, won’t make better ones living with family, friends, or you.

Everyone needs a learning curve, and some only learn by doing.  It is important to keep things in writing.  If you own a condo/house,  and get married,  before the ink is dry on the marriage cert.  have the “non-owner” sign and nortarize a “Quite claim agreement”  even with a pre nup. Even if your friends think you’re tacky,  have the “non – owner” pay “rent” monthly. Documented by checks.  Yes,  it will be considered “income” to you, but it keeps the value clear on your property. And the “non-owner” has a record also for taxes, etc.  Like Maggie says,  a person who makes poor financial choices, won’t make better ones living with family, friends, or you.

These are my primary concerns, too.  I realize that two people can drastically reduce their expenses by moving in together (whether they’re romantic partners, just friends, or something else); however, that doesn’t mean their overall financial health will improve, especially if one or both parties aren’t already financially sensible.  But the biggest issue for me is most states’ lack of legal protection for cohabiting partners.  If you’re married and get divorced, there are provisions in the law to help make sure you get your fair portion of shared assets, get financial support if needed, even to help you rebuild/protect your credit if your spouse was a financial loser.  No such luck for cohabiting couples–if you want equal protection, you’ve got to keep your finances completely separate and/or go to the trouble and expense of drawing up binding legal contracts for all financial eventualities.  Too much of a headache, from my perspective.  If I were looking to cut expenses, I’d probably rather just get a roommate or move in with family, as you suggest.

I’ve been living with my fiance for 2.5 years (he wasn’t my fiance when we moved in together) we chose to take that step because it was more convenient and saved us money, but we kept our finances separate until we moved across the country for his work. We aren’t married yet, but we are planning our wedding, and our relationship is stronger and happier all the time, so I see no reason why we won’t get married. He was not as financially responsible as me when we first started living together, but we’ve now had 2.5 years to communicate about our money values and make a system that works for us and gives us some financial security and some flexibility. If we had gotten married before living together, we would still have had to reconcile those values. Living together never “ends” in marriage- marriage is not a destination that once you reach it financial difficulties go away… and if irresponsible finances were going to create a wedge that would drive me apart from a partner, I’d rather find that out before having the legalities of marriage make the split more complicated! 

Just because you’re living together with your boyfriend or fiance doesn’t necessarily mean that you are sleeping together. Sure, there are the temptations, but I know some really strong people who could handle it.

This is not a religious issue, this is about finances and how couples can find ways to help each other economically; for some work, for others don’t. People should keep their religious beliefs to themselves.

Thank you Nramos4510, I’m not convinced either. So, you get to pretend
like your married, but neither you nor your partner have any of the
responsibilities (or benefits) of marriage? Sounds like a disaster in
the making! I say you either commit, or don’t, end of story.

Fantastic points, Maggie.  Living with a friend can be terrific, but since you are not headed for the same future, goals are not always aligned.  I think the sliding scale rent rate is a great idea and I can see how it can save on eating out, traveling, driving to see one another. 

Fantastic points, Maggie.  Living with a friend can be terrific, but since you are not headed for the same future, goals are not always aligned.  I think the sliding scale rent rate is a great idea and I can see how it can save on eating out, traveling, driving to see one another. 

I’d like to echo the voices of others who say that this should be a
discussion of finance not the morality of cohabitation…keep that for
your Bible study. My husband and I lived together before we were married
as did several of my even more religious friends who attended Christian
colleges.  I think this forum should encourage people to do what they
feel is right for them. Neither I nor my friends felt like we were
devaluing ourselves and none of us have been “emotionally harmed” in the
process…as an added bonus my husband and I put our “what you call
temporary” financial benefits into finishing paying off my grad school
debt and saving up so that we now have a down-payment for a house. Not
so “temporary” in our book and very worth the flak we got from some
people for moving in together 2 yrs ago .  On the other side, I
certainly still wouldn’t recommend living with a significant other if
you don’t view it as long term…because moving again/often might negate
any financial benefits and is stressful!

If you cohabitate, you are saving 1/2 of rent and other living expenses. That’s extra money in your pocket. If you live in your boyfriends’ co-op/condo/house for several years, and the relationship is over and you move out, do you really believe you deserve 1/2 of His property or monies?  Well, if you both signed a marriage certificate and you get a good divorce lawyer, then yes, you would probably get 1/2 of his property. But is that fair? Perhaps that’s why guys with some wealth don’t want to marry; Because in case of divorce, they can be kicked out of their own home!